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About a Boy

October 6, 2012

I don’t remember what I said.

I don’t remember what my cries for help sounded like.

I don’t remember the reassuring faces of those around me,   promising me that it would be okay. Promising me that I would make it out of that hospital room alive.

I don’t remember the sounds of the room, the beeps of the machines, or what time of evening it was.

I don’t remember any of it, really.

I just remember you.

I just see your face on my chest.

I close my eyes and relive the moment we first met. The moment my flesh became someone else’s flesh. The moment I got to hold onto grace and let its fingers wrap around mine.

I see your eyes looking up at me.

I see 10 wrinkly fingers stretching out and finding the world for the first time.

I see pink little legs and wiggly toes and a head of hair that will never let you go cold in the winter.

Your skin against my skin. Your heart beating against my own.

Your life finding its rhythm with mine.

I don’t remember what the midwife said.

I don’t remember if the nurses thought you were healthy or not.

I don’t remember if my mom cried, or if I just imagined everyone’s tears through the stream of my own.

I just remember you.

Looking down at the dimple of your chin and knowing there are moments when God shows us his face.

Seeing the rise and fall of your lungs and understanding that if I only get this one, singular, most miraculous little gift, then I’ll have received everything I need in this life.

Knowing that if I was brave enough to whisper into this moment, I could say your name and you’d know my voice.

I remember gratitude. I remember relief. I remember joy.

Time slows down and virtually stops.

The edges of the room blur.

The supporting actors in the scene get quiet.

The two lead roles let their eyes meet for the very first time.

Something fills the air. It’s an unbreakable magic.

Never was there a more precious meeting between souls.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. mgkerri permalink
    October 6, 2012 8:53 pm

    Congratulations!! Beautifully written.

  2. October 7, 2012 12:38 am

    Do you have any idea how WORRIED i have been?? (Only kidding a little bit, actually.) I am so glad he is here and that you have written such a glorious first word about it all. I am reading between the lines that maybe it was a tough one? I hope not too tough. So, SO happy for you and so relieved to hear that he and you are okay. Congratulations, blessings, prayers.

  3. October 10, 2012 2:39 pm

    i hope i feel this way. beautiful.


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