An Old Familiar Song
I don’t talk about my faith anymore.
I used to. I used to talk about it a lot.
I used to talk about it all the time, to anyone who would listen, whether they wanted to hear about it or not. Sadly, I learned the hard way that the way I talked about my faith was more divisive than it was holistic. I was more argumentative and pushy than welcoming and joyful, and for many years I gave the wrong impression about my love for God and the love I believe he has for all others.
When I realized this, I simply stopped talking about my faith. I abandoned the catch-phrases I’d so lovingly used to talk about praying and worship, and I gave up the go-to answers for questions about God and life and challenges. I let go of the ideas that everything had to have a black and white answer and, instead, focused on understanding my beliefs as they blended with all of life’s shades of grey. I decided to go about living my faith quietly, and speaking of it in small whispers rather than loud taunts.
But there are some days, like today, when the beautiful mysteries of faith and trust and believing just can’t be kept quiet. There are some days when I get to be home, and fold laundry, and attempt to read research papers, and watch my son sleeping, and kiss my husband goodbye – and I realize I’m blessed. I’m just so blessed. And I turn on a record of hymns and listen to their old familiar words and I let God take me by the hand and dance with me. He hugs me close and pulls me in tight and guides me on my toes around my living room. We dance and we sing and we delight in this simple life’s calling to follow and find joy. If I could get all the steps right, He wouldn’t be the one to guide me. If I knew all the words to the songs, He wouldn’t be the voice in my ear. If I didn’t need him to hold onto me the way he does, He wouldn’t be my God.
It’s an old familiar song with an old familiar tune that brings me back to an old familiar faith. It’s simple. It’s pure. It’s lovely.
I delight in the dance today.
Wilder Adkins – “Nothing But the Blood“